Virtue isn't something we figure out or decide. It's our natural state when we aren't arguing with the situation (alignment). That means the more we clearly see life without argument or judgement, the more naturally good - naturally virtuous, we become.
We all know what it is like to be in argument with a situation - whether a long line at a coffee shop, in traffic, or anywhere else we don't want to be. Most of us can easily see how the more we are taken by inwardly arguing with a situation, the worse we behave.
The more we are able to identify impressions, instead of automatically going along with them, the less and less we'll get caught by our emotional reactivity and our judgements.
This gives us the system resources to really be in a situation and act naturally from our goodness. How might we best support a struggling friend?
Virtue isn't a matter of fixed responses: tell a joke, give them a hug, quietly be there for them!
Instead, the right action arises from our willingness to tune into the situation. It is natural, connected, good, helpful, respectful, dignified, and integrous.
It isn't a moral code. But it does require us to choose. To choose not to be led by judgement, but instead take responsibility for the turmoil inside of us. To choose to the best of our ability let the quiet goodness inside of us lead, spontaneously and fluidly in any given situation, as well as in our long term choices and habits.
Virtue is wholesome, mutually supportive and pro-social - never judgmental or finger wagging. Importantly, it is free of expectation, obligation, and self-limitation.
As we drop in and really embody it, we see that there are many different ways our natural goodness comes forward in situations. Sometimes it is kind, other times it is strong and clear. It can be helpful to give names to the different facets of virtue, the different ways this our natural goodness can express itself.
The Stoics followed the Greek tradition of dividing the virtues into four categories: Justice, Courage, Temperance, and Wisdom - but my advice isn't to take these categories too seriously. Just as seriously as its helpful for your practice and life.
Justice helps us say no. It helps us take a stand for what is true, and walk away from that which isn't. It is the willingness to get behind wholesomeness with more and more of ourselves - to take a stand for it whether internally or externally. It is quietly powerful, non-dramatic, and always serving all.
Courage reminds us of our strength, our inner capacity, our willingness to face difficulty. We can meet the challenges and fears of our life. We have it within us. Without courage we will be pushed around on the path. We are not spineless do-gooders. Courage reminds us of a quality warriorship and uprightness for the good.
Temperance helps us to see that insanity is at the extremes. We can be tempted away from our integrity through extremes - whether temptation of believing in false judgements of good and bad - or the impulse to eat a whole cake for dinner. When we find ourselves wanting to follow an extreme, temperance shows us how excellence and health, is right down the center.
Wisdom refers to our direct inner knowing. It's what knows whether our friend needs us to hold silence, crack a joke, or give them a hug. It allows us to see through appearances, and see what is most real underneath. If we don't have wisdom, we can't embody virtue. We'll always be guessing or trying to do it from our heads.
Sometimes these categories can be extremely helpful as ways to explore and discuss. In other cases, it might encourage us to get a little fixated and "try to be courageous" or some such thing. Remember, virtue means freedom and nonattachment. That's very different from trying to be it from an preconceived image.
Virtue is our own quiet goodness - and the goodness of life. It wants to express itself, and it is playing a much bigger game.
When we truly tap into the virtue inside of ourselves, we're tapping into a much vaster intelligence that embraces all of the messiness of life.
We can do practices that help us to align, or we can connect with our virtue, aspects of 'divine nature' more directly.
In the exercise below we will explore connecting with a certain facet of virtue directly in our experience. This embodied exploration - a kind of a meditation - helps us to directly recognize our virtuous nature, and to begin to place trust in it, so more and more it can lead our lives: